Marj Merges Beautiful. Honest. You. {and me}

Happy Birthday to me

Photo taken by Eric at Amy and Ben’s wedding.

Today I turn thirty.  That’s right, I’m leaving behind the youth of my twenties and if you’re still that young you can’t trust me anymore.  Or so they say.

What’s the big deal besides that I sound significantly older and for the first time since the very beginning of our relationship Eric and I will have the same number at the beginning of our ages?  Last year it felt like a huge deal. I know, you’re a little confused why I thought turning thirty was a big deal when I was turning twenty-nine.  But it did.  It felt like I had one year left to get myself in order to start my thirties on the terms I wanted.  To start putting in place what I wanted my life to really look like.  And I did.  To an extent.

I’m now a photographer and that’s pretty great.  My clients like my work and yeah, I actually have clients.  And despite how naive I was going into this last Fall I feel like I really did make a good decision.  A decision which makes me feel valued.  A decision that allows me to contribute something I see as valuable to society.

And Eric and I finally made the decision to have children.  We’re still in the midst of implementing that decision but it was exciting to make that jump in our thinking.  It hasn’t been the smoothest journey but it’s our journey and for now it’s brought us closer.  And two months from the miscarriage it’s finally moved from that giant presence in our lives to something that happened, to us no less, but it’s so much better.  And we’ll be fine whatever happens.

But you know, thirty isn’t that big of a deal.  Now that I’m this close to it.  I’m glad that I chose to make the changes I did and if my impending thirtieth birthday could be credited with the motivation to do that it only seems positive.  From here it seems my life is only just getting started and I can’t wait to experience it.

And now I should probably go change that About page.  And go backpacking again.  Yay!

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