Marj Merges Beautiful. Honest. You. {and me}

15 states in 9 days

Um.  Yeah.  That’s a lot of miles.  I’ve been out of touch and on a very much needed vacation for the last two weeks and now I’m finally home and it’s time to go full speed.  Here’s where we (and my car) were for the last two weeks: Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, and Colorado.  And I’m going to brag very briefly.  While we were in Georgia my husband, that would be Eric, won a Half Marathon.  That’s right, he’s speedy and I’m proud.

But this post isn’t really going to be about my vacation.  Because I’m afraid that might be quite boring (and a bit confusing, see the 15 states in 9 days comment).  I planned the trip and I think it even took my husband a few days into the actual vacation to know where we were going next.

So, what am I going to talk about?  I’m a bit freaked out at the moment.  Just a little.  Once I came down from just being glad I was home I realized I had this immense job to get down to.  It feels very much like I’m starting over.  Not in my relationship with my husband, mind you, funny how we both felt after a few days that our time apart was this distant dream we weren’t sure existed.  It’s been surprising how easily and quickly we’ve gotten back into life with each other.  But starting over in terms of my business.  Since I left Atlanta it seems like my fellow interns have continued to shoot non-stop and continued to reap the benefits of being part of the family.  And I, well, haven’t.  To be fair I’ve only been home for two days.  It sort of feels like I’m trying to make my way through darkness without a flashlight.

I’m spending time trolling forums, obsessively looking at craigslist everyday, and questioning what I’m doing.  Really, nothing new. But then there’s all these aspects of my business I barely touched on during the internship that I have to learn super fast.  Like how to write a contract.  Because in the internship I bypassed that step since my work was either free or through  Or liability insurance.  Do I need that?  Or how much money do I need to make before I figure out how I’m going to deal with the money I make and how I pay taxes and you know, all that stuff.  The details of the business really.  It would help if I knew what the details were I needed to know and figure out.  For now I’m too busy trying to find work and get myself busy but once I feel sufficiently scheduled I’ll take a breather and sit myself down to hammer these out.  Because I have a feeling the details are important.

For now I’m keeping my head down.  I’m racking my brain for everything I can possibly do to get this started.  I’m scheduling shoots.  I’m trying to be patient.  And I’m trying not to stress out too much.  And enjoy things.  I love shooting.  This is what I want.  It’s just now, the pressure is really on.  During the internship I was propped up, now I’m kind of missing those props.  Now, I’ve got new ones.  And I’m glad to be done with frozen dinners and prepackaged macaroni and cheese.  Apparently the dinner I cooked last night was actually decent, Eric said so.

I have my first shoot scheduled for this Sunday and I’m excited.

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